Right now David Stern is sitting on a throne made out of slated-for-destruction copies of Blowing the Whistle and cackling maniacally.

There are any number of excellent blogs which can break down what this means in terms of prospective players, contracts, and strategies. This is not one of them. Instead we’re going to discuss the drama potential.

Clippers could be fun. Reunion with Baron Davis, followed by possibility of name-calling and “you abandoned me in Golden State,” hopefully concluding with Baron and Stephen getting smashed and prank-calling Elton Brand once they agree that it’s all his fault. I’m sure some will say it’s dangerous to put a bad influence near Blake Griffin but if the kid could make it through being a prep star without losing his soul, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.

While the Spurs in general are not dramatic and have already had Jackson on their team once with no apparent problems, this has potential. I was thinking this morning that the last time the Spurs had any drama, Dennis Rodman was on the team. I don’t think Jackson is Rodman-level crazy, but man would it be funny to see the Robo-Spurs freaking out over a drama sighting.

The Nuggets are working on getting away from the drama so I don’t think this would be a good idea for them. The two scenarios I can imagine are SJ hanging out with Chauncey and everything being fine, or SJ going out looking for trouble with Carmelo and all hell breaking loose.

Byron Scott would be stupid to sign off on bringing Jackson to the Hornets. He’s on the last year of his contract with a notoriously cheap owner and a team that’s reportedly losing interest. On the other hand, if the Hornets aren’t going to keep him, why not bring in a coach-killer and get yourself fired, preferably in the early season so you have lots of time to rest and polish up your resume for the Lakers?

The Cavaliers are my pick for most interesting location. Cleveland looked weak last night which means we may have drama eruptions even sooner than expected, and wouldn’t you love to see what happens when you put the egos of Jackson, Shaq, and LeBron together?

30. San Antonio Spurs. The only drama about these guys is the lengths they go to to avoid drama. Which is probably why the ratings bottom out every time they make the Finals. Some people point to the Spurs’ small-market success as proof that the games aren’t fixed. I personally believe David Stern is just that ornery.

29. Milwaukee Bucks. If you suck, and you’ve been sucking for a while, and it looks like you’re going to continue sucking for the foreseeable future, what’s left to be dramatic about? Unless of course your coach is Scott Skiles. He knows how to bring the drama so I wouldn’t count the Bucks out just yet. On the other hand, if there’s drama but no one hears about it because no one’s interested in covering the Bucks, does it still count?

28. Indiana Pacers. Believe it or not, getting rid of Jamaal Tinsley and drafting a bunch of white stiffs was enough to save Larry Bird’s job. Indianans love their basketball; hell, they even sell out WNBA games. So what if the team doesn’t win that much? After the Artest years, Indiana just wants a team they can root for.

27. Minnesota Timberwolves. Another spot in the frozen north where it can hardly get worse. But hey, they let Kevin McHale run them into the ground for a decade, so Kahn and Rambis could probably moon the crowd on opening night and they’d still get a pass.

26. Oklahoma City Thunder (Clay Bennett is a lying asshole). I want to love this team, I really do. They’re likable and Kevin Durant is a really special player and a great teammate by all accounts. But I’m still angry on behalf of Seattle. On the other hand, being owned by a jackass does not guarantee drama, so here they are.

25. Sacramento Kings. Would probably rank lower if the wacky Maloof brothers weren’t so desperate to move to Vegas. Definitely would have been ranked higher if Reggie Theus were still the coach because dude, he’s Reggie Theus. Insert your own “Hang Time” joke here.

24. Utah Jazz. You know Jerry Sloan’s going to do his best to run a tight ship, but who knows how bitchy Carlos Boozer might get while waiting to be traded. Plus, he’s Carlos Boozer. Screwing a blind man is not something you can live down.

23. Toronto Raptors. Well, I guess they might make the playoffs, where they’ll get trounced in the first round. Since that’s a foregone conclusion, everyone might as well amuse themselves with trying to predict whether Chris Bosh will bolt.

22. New Jersey Nets. I bet the players are thrilled about being bought by Russian Mark Cuban (tm Bill Simmons) because it means their play is no longer the number-one go-to Nets punchline.

21. Phoenix Suns. Now that Steve Nash has signed his extension, the Suns should be set to sit around the campfire and sing Kumbaya… at least till Amare gets pissy or Steve Kerr does another dumb thing.

20. Houston Rockets. Once again, if everyone expects you to suck, what’s left to be dramatic about? Two words: Tracy McGrady.

19. Portland TrailBlazers. A promising young team that should have an exciting season if expectations don’t get the better of them and if the players don’t start tuning out Nate McMillan.

18. Philadelphia Sixers. At first I thought the question here was whether yet another Dookie Behaving Badly, Elton Brand, could redeem himself, but then I realized the real question is, does anyone give a shit?

17. Charlotte Bobcats. The fans don’t care. The media doesn’t care. Bob Johnson doesn’t care about anything but finding a buyer. Michael Jordan doesn’t care about anything but beating up that one kid in middle school who didn’t acknowledge his greatness. Larry Brown might care, but then again he might just be looking for his next job. So players, it’s all on you. My sincerest condolences.

16. Miami Heat. Another team where the main question is what happens to Most Valuable Heat Ever Dwyane Wade when summer of ’10 rolls around. Then again, Pat Riley’s been known to kick his hand-picked successors out of the coach’s chair midseason when he gets the itch. I don’t expect it to happen this time around because there’s no way this crew is going to challenge for a championship, but it’s not like that’s the only wacky thing Riley does.

15. Denver Nuggets. Others have pointed out that with the dream season the Nuggets are coming off, something’s bound to go wrong. I just hope it doesn’t blow up on Chauncey Billups, who is not only my favorite Nugget, but also the de facto coach.

14. New Orleans Hornets. I know, everyone, myself included, wants CP3 and the boys to keep the feelgood story going. But tensions between the team and Byron Scott have been growing for so long that this team is my pick for Western Conference Drama Dark Horse.

13. Dallas Mavericks. It’s not so much that I think they’ll bring the drama (though heaven help us if Shawn Marion starts whining), it’s that I would feel guilty if I let Mark Cuban slide any further down the list than this.

12. Detroit Pistons. Expect a disconnect this season between the veterans who still plan to compete for a title, the execs who are already trying to rebuild, and Ben Gordon, who thinks he’s The Man and has the bloated contract to prove it. Gets an extra bump in the rankings since no one is sure who currently owns the team.

11. Washington Wizards. Everyone wants to know what the ceiling for a healthy Arenas/Jamison/Butler trio is, but I’m more interested in seeing how long Gilbert can stick to his new No More Agent Zero Hibachi Blogging About Making Bets With Fans philosophy.

10. Memphis Grizzlies. Low on win potential, high as a kite on drama potential. Signing Allen Iverson was perhaps the one thing Michael Heisley could do to draw attention to his beyond-wretched team, but if I were in the organization, I’d be more worried about what Zach Randolph’s liable to do.

9. Boston Celtics. My favorite team was sitting pretty at number 20 last night till I heard about Big Baby’s bizarro injury on SportsCenter. If anyone needs me, I’ll be hiding under my desk clutching that “Celtic Pride” SI cover and a bottle of tequila.

8. New York Knicks. So what if the only interesting thing about the Knicks is the Summer of ’10? At least they finally got rid of Isiah.

7. Chicago Bulls. This team’s pretty much been in turmoil since MJ left town. Things were looking up with their series against the Celtics last spring, but now Ben Gordon’s gone and the rest of the team will probably start bickering over Who’s Da Man any moment now. I expect them to be either surprisingly good or mind-numbingly bad.

6. Atlanta Hawks. I don’t care how many times Mike Woodson and Josh Smith claim they’re fine with each other, there wouldn’t have been all this smoke over the years if there weren’t some sort of fire there. It’ll be interesting to see what sort of effect fourth-best in the East has on the Hawks’ psyche.

5. Los Angeles Clippers. Count me among those who thought that, though Blake Griffin is indeed a very special player, all this talk of challenging the Lakers for L.A. superiority was way premature. Wish that statement could have been made in a less painful way than Blake’s injury. Anyway, even if this weren’t supposed to be a comeback season for the Clippers, where Donald Sterling and Mike Dunleavy go, trainwrecks are never far behind.

4. Orlando Magic. Well, at least they did something this offseason. I’m not sure I like what they did, but one thing’s for sure: Bringing Vince Carter to town is a drama bonanza. Pair his last shot at redemption with Dwight Howard’s somewhat fragile ego. Am I the only one who thinks Stan Van Gundy should embrace the whole Master of Panic thing and have MoP embroidered on his shirts? Say what you will about Shaq, the guy knows his nicknames. Which leads us to…

3. Cleveland Cavaliers. In the early season expect lots of laughs and some pretty entertaining pregame introductions as last year’s most fun player joins last season’s most fun team. What makes this one interesting is the question of what happens if the fun stops. Get lots of popcorn for this one. If Cleveland’s first losing skid is accompanied by Shaq shouting for more touches and an extension, buy stock in Orville Redenbacher.

2. Los Angeles Lakers. The Lake Show gets the edge over Cleveland because when I think about drama, I think about prima donnas, and there’s not a bigger prima donna in the league than Kobe. And there’s not a bigger headcase than Ron Artest, even if Bill Simmons and I are the only ones who remember that (and we might be, if ESPN’s pregame show last Friday was any indication). The champs are smoking while filling up the tank. Hey, why isn’t this number one?

1. Golden State Warriors. I know, I’m shocked it’s not the Lakers too. But Stephen Jackson really wants a trade and we know he’s not afraid to be batshit. Don Nelson has been involved in at least 30% of the major NBA shitstorms of the past three decades. Hell, even the Warriors’ secondary drama of Monta Ellis trying to mess with Stephen Curry’s head is more than some teams have going on, period.